Ep.56 / SAY MY NAME (RIGHT): A Lesson in Microaggressions
In this solo episode of Hot Air, host Joshua confronts a mispronunciation of Zohran Mamdani’s name, dives into what microaggressions really are (especially within LGBTQ+ and BIPOC communities), and shares how we can all listen, learn, and do better.
There’s nothing quite like hitting “record,” thinking you nailed your intro, only to realize later you mispronounced someone’s name. Oops. Let’s rewind a little.
A few episodes back, I mentioned Zohran Mamdani. Only — I said his name wrong. And yes, that simple error triggered an avalanche of comments, many of them angry, some hurtful, others educational. In the following days I put out a short video saying “Hey, chill out — it was a mistake,” and surprise: that didn’t go down well either.
So here we are. This episode of Hot Air isn’t just me saying “I messed up.” It’s me unpacking why I messed up, why people reacted the way they did, and how we can use moments like these to get better — together.
Why This Matters
Name mispronunciation isn’t just a harmless blip. For many people — especially those in BIPOC and immigrant communities — their names are laden with culture, history, identity. When someone mispronounces it, ignores it, or flips it into a joke, the message is: “Your identity doesn’t matter enough for me to learn it.”
In the case of Zohran Mamdani, or anyone else with a non-Western name, the stakes are higher. Because the mispronunciation isn’t purely accidental. It echoes centuries of erasure, anglicizing, cultural flattening. Worse yet, sometimes it’s intentional, a subtle way of “othering” someone.
That’s why people got so fired up. My mispronunciation might have been an honest mistake. But the context around it is larger: a world where people’s names, identities, experiences have often been dismissed. And when I said “chill out,” I unintentionally asked people to minimize their feelings. That, folks, was a second mistake.
What Are Microaggressions, Really?
Let’s define our terms. A microaggression is a small, often subtle comment or behavior that communicates bias or exclusion toward a marginalized group. Think of these as the tiny cuts you don’t fully register in the moment — until one day you realize they’ve left scars.
Here are just some of the forms they take:
“You’re so articulate!” (when said to a person of color)
“Where are you really from?” to someone Asian, Latinx, Middle Eastern
“You don’t look trans.”
“Which one of you is the man in your relationship?” when talking to a gay couple
Mispronouncing someone’s name (especially if it’s non-Anglo, non-Western)
“I’m not racist – I have friends of color!”
“I just don’t get the they/them thing.”
Microaggressions aren’t always malicious. Often they come from ignorance, habit, or assumption. But the impact is real. Because each small comment reinforces otherness. Each misfit word whispers: “You’re tolerated — but not fully seen.”
Microaggressions in the LGBTQ+ Community
And by the way — microaggressions don’t only target race and ethnicity. They target sexuality, gender identity, expression. They show up like this:
“You’re gay? You must love fashion.”
“You don’t look gay.”
“So you’re bi? Which side are you on?”
“You’re too pretty to be a lesbian.”
A non-binary person getting asked: “What are you then — a half-woman half-man?”
A trans person being told, “You’re brave,” as if their existence is heroic rather than simply valid.
These comments might seem casual, even complimentary. But when you unpack them: a gay man told “you’re so fashionable” is still being reduced to stereotype; a trans person told “you’re brave” is still being framed as exception rather than everyday. Even in queer spaces, microaggressions happen — among LGBTQ+ folks themselves.
Intent vs. Impact: My Personal Moment
I didn’t wake up one morning thinking, “I’m going to mispronounce Zohran Mamdani’s name for fun.” I didn’t. My intent was neutral. But the impact? Not so neutral.
Why? Because many folks heard it as carelessness, as a sign I didn’t value his name or identity. And then when I told people to “chill out” — that felt dismissive. It felt like I was minimizing their reaction.
Often when someone says, “It was just a mistake,” they’re shifting the focus from the person who was hurt to the person who messed up. That’s natural. Ego. But if you’re going to grow, you have to flip the script: change the focus to the one who felt hurt, not just the one who made the error.
Why People React So Strongly
Let’s be real. There’s a reason the comment section exploded. Because acts like mispronouncing a name are never in a vacuum. They carry weight. Layers.
For many people, their names have been anglicized, simplified, changed because someone said “You’re hard to pronounce.”
For many, identity has been challenged, boundaries ignored, pronouns flouted.
And for many, telling someone to “calm down” when they voice hurt? Yeah, that’s its own hurt.
When people heard my “chill out” follow-up, the message they got was: “Your feelings are too much. Stop talking.”
And that’s a microaggression too.
How We Can Do Better (Listening & Teaching)
Alright, so — how do we move forward? Here’s what I’ve gathered:
For the one who misstepped:
Pause. Listen before you reply. You don’t owe an immediate defense.
Acknowledge what you heard. “I hear that I mispronounced your name and it mattered.”
Ask respectfully. “Can you help me say it correctly?”
Apologize for the impact, not just the intent. “I understand this hurt you — I’m sorry.”
Learn and do better. Practice pronunciation, research, lean in.
For the one who’s calling it out:
Lead with curiosity instead of contempt. “Hey, I noticed…” lands better than “You’re terrible.”
Recognize growth. People can change — invite that rather than shut it down.
Focus on the outcome. Is the goal to punish or educate?
Avoid making it impossible for someone to come back from a mistake. That’s not justice. That’s exclusion.
The Bigger Picture
It’s easy to think: “Well, I’ll never mock someone’s name. I’ll never ask stupid questions.” And that’s a decent baseline. But the real aim is higher: creating spaces where people feel fully seen, heard, and valued.
If every time someone spoke their name and it was said correctly — just once! — what a difference. If every time someone gave their pronouns and they were used — just once! — what a difference. If every time someone pointed out a microaggression and someone actually learned — what a difference.
For me, mispronouncing a name wasn’t just a slip—it was a wake-up call. A reminder that being “good” isn’t enough if you’re not being thoughtful. That mistake, and the backlash, taught me that growth isn’t glamorous. It’s awkward. It’s vulnerable. It’s admitting you were wrong. And then doing the work.
Final Thought
If you take anything away from today’s episode and this post:
Names matter. Pronunciation matters. Listening matters. Learning matters.
And yes — sometimes you’ll mess up. But the second you do: own it, learn from it, and let that moment become a doorway, not a wall.
So thanks to everyone who called me out, held me accountable, and made me better. To everyone whose name has ever been mispronounced – I see you. I’m sorry. I’m learning.
Thank you for being part of Hot Air. I’m Josh — and I’ll see you next time. Probably triple-checking every pronunciation before I hit record.